Anecdote #29

The gap between the end of school and the beginning of college adds a lot to one's perspective. You begin to realise the importance of family and a reliable support system. In my case apart from my parents, the people who have loved me unconditionally and have showered me with encouragement and support are my grandparents. As I have working parents my grandparents virtually brought me up during the early years of my childhood. They lived through all my firsts and thankfully are around to share my happiness. The love your grandparents give you goes above and beyond because they leave the responsibility of disciplining to your parents. Apart from that their anecdotes, experiences and childhood tales teach you how far your family has come and how it is your responsibility to carry the legacy forward. In the older times perseverance was a very revered value which seems to be disappearing. Our ancestors did not give up in the most arduous conditions. Mine lived through the partition and had to start their lives afresh. My grandfather had to work to pay for his education and was left alone to survive. My grandmother was deprived of many opportunities because she was a woman and was expected to take up a domestic lifestyle. At times I notice the regret in their eyes. When I share my little achievements with them they become extremely hopeful and grateful. Perhaps they are elated that the road which they couldn't take is appearing before me. They certainly don't push me to live their dream but they make my dreams their own. Alas, not all our dreams are meant to come true which is perhaps for the best yet experience has already taught them that. At such junctures they can explain the possible causes for rejection and failure because they have seen life from close and from far. My advise therefore is very simple, learn from them as much as you can, love and respect them. Take out time for them so that they feel that their lives have been fulfilled.

Anecdote #28

Now that I am out of school I get to hear a lot about people’s dreams, desires and ambitions. After talking to many individuals I realised there was one common factor in almost all of them which was fixation. They were fixated on colleges, professions, plans etc. I have used the word fixation after a lot of thought because I observed that there was a lack of open mindedness. There is a looming possibility that we may not get what we want which is often forgotten. When this happens it takes no time for disappointment to turn into depression. What’s the harm in keeping some options open, focus is important but the world is not perfect. It’s tough to be the absolute best, there is always someone who is better, can work harder and may know how to work smarter. There exists a very thin line between focus and fixation. Our obsession with certain things take the best of us and soon we start to lose the capability to deal with failure. Life has a bigger plan but our egos cloud our ability to see that. Aim for the best but if it doesn’t happen leave to God the rest. Stop looking down on other options just because they come in second our third. At the end of the day what matters is how you make most of an opportunity. It’s best to start learning to deal with challenges now other wise we’ll be making life tougher for ourselves. Don’t let your own self become the biggest hurdle in your life. Open your mind to exploration, maybe you’ll find a path you had never expected to set foot on in the first place.

Anecdote #27

The mind of ours is engineered to play games with us and these can be extremely vicious and consuming. Jealousy, hatred and fear are feelings fostered and festered by the mind. I believe that there is a distinction between the mind and the self. I agree to the fact that the mind is instrumental in influencing the self but the two cannot be mistaken for one. To rise above pettiness, irritability and all such  whirling negative emotions one must learn to listen to the inner voice. If we go on ignoring this voice then in my opinion it will tend to fade over time. Your definition of right and wrong may be completely different to mine but I think we can’t walk away from the fact that there are some universally accepted truths. The mind is an omnipresent energy which perpetually tries to deviate you from progress. It releases an array of negative feelings which pricks you like needles. Some days tend to feel worse than the others and these are the days which hurts the self. When we indulge in words or activities that seem wrong, it feels like  a heavy blow on the self. We tend to become unforgiving and bitter with ourselves. The most common advise to tackle anger and it’s brother emotions is to take deep breaths. Honestly for me this fuels my anger even further! Then what should one do? I feel there is no fixed formula, yes there are suggestions ( often listed across many magazines, newspapers) but they don’t necessarily work for everyone. It’s crucial to find a unique way for mental detoxification.A very effective method which is also practical is that an individual must try and engage himself or herself in an activity involving movement such as cooking, going for a walk or doing certain chores because it derails anxiety provoking thoughts. As soon as we indulge in a new activity our focus changes which provides a relief from the chain of destructive thoughts. I cannot emphasise enough on the fact that an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Get out, do something and  evaluate yourself or else you will eventually get trapped into the vicious cycle of mind games and pessimism.