Anecdote #35

 When does one finally grow up? Though legally I am an adult, I don't feel like one. That doesn't mean that I take rash decisions or am not aware of my responsibilities. The fact is that I am still pretty emotionally dependent on my parents. As soon as I face a problem my instinctive reaction is to complain about it to my parents. Being an only child, my parents were my companions and fortunately they still are. I am at my uninhibited best with them and perhaps look for people with similar traits as their's. But life is not all roses and as much as I love my parents, they are my biggest weakness. I cannot seem to see them go through times of trouble and at times there is a feeling of helplessness as I do not have the power to amend their circumstances.
I'm sure a lot of others feel this way about their loved ones as well. It's during these times that we begin to get frustrated and due to excessive stress and bottled up emotions may begin to damage our relationships with others. Then the impending question should be what must be done? I like to pray, not because I plead for God to chase away my problems but because prayer gives me solace and is my happy place. If you don't pray then my advice for you would be that don't try to solve their problems. If you can't watch them suffer then join hands with them in their safar. What I mean to say is that take this journey with them. Listen to their problems, even though it may hurt you, remember that their hearts may have gotten lighter in this process. But at the same time that doesn't mean that you should be the their emotional dustbins. There are different kinds of people in this world and we must know where to draw the line. You just need to be a cushion of support because at the end of the day a little does a lot. When the time comes you'll be mature enough to handle bigger problems. Don't try to be a messiah but just do your part diligently and lovingly. At the end of all this you will get stronger and a few years down the line you'll be able to look at everything with a much more practical  point of view.

Anecdote #34

Yesterday as I watched a movie the age old aphorism of how the past always catches up came across my way. It seemed completely appropriate given my current state of mind. When life throws curveballs at us we encounter a tendency of going back to the past for comparison. I am very different from who I was, yet I am the same. I have the same mind, some deeply entrenched memories and a few poor decisions that loom over my head. Running away from all this hasn't worked out as it has constrained the understanding of my actions. I wouldn't learn anything until I come to terms with it. Giving up is the easiest yet the least satisfying option for me. Fighting it out is much harder but it increases your endurance. Amidst all of this we wish for some kind of support  but the circumstances maybe such that we are destined to go through the journey alone. I do not know what the end of all this is, maybe it's just a vicious circle that's hard to break, it's quite possible that this is Karma or it could be a phase that is about to run it's course. 

Stop fighting your emotions. You cannot plan the way you feel, stop making it harder or more complicated for yourself. Introspect and if social interactions seem too strenuous be a man or woman of fewer words. 

If all this fails try to go back and remember all the promises you made to yourself. It just maybe the right time to fulfil them.

Anecdote #33

People go through their own battles in their daily which can never be fully comprehended by any other human. Mostly our egos cloud our judgements. When our friends don't reply to our messages we think they're ignoring us, when people seem distant we think that they don't value us and when they respond with irritation we label them as moody. Yes, all this hurts and leaves us perplexed but that doesn't give us the liberty to label that person as a particular type.

There are many individuals who don't let people in their inner space which is probably because their lives are embroiled with complications and they do not wish to entangle others in this mess. This is completely justified because people with materialistic desires don't have the ability to see through the realities of other's lives. Most people are like that today. I don't blame individuals for being selfish but that doesn't give them the right to pry into other person's lives. Friendships these days follow dictated terms, there is no freedom for self exploration or discovery as you're burdened with expectations of group behaviour.

At times the only person who will be able to understand your predicament is yourself. The harsh truth is that at time you may have to take on the responsibility of the caregiver and hide your worries. It is true that human's don't share their hassles because a lot of times they are not their's to share. We cannot force them to come out but can respect their sense of space. Don't compare people to yourself because the simple fact is that you lead different lives. Don't attribute your reason's of getting upset to them, they have their own battles and you have your's. The best thing to do at times is to live and to let live. Don't try to be a messiah, you're not God. Be humane like a human.

Anecdote #32

 People change and grow over time and go through a journey of attachment and detachment. Often the pressures of life get to them and they begin questioning themselves at each step of the way. Somewhere in the midst of this hustle and bustle they lose their emotional bearings. The subconscious hides these insecurities and individuals are just too occupied on gadgets, with the stresses of their lives and dealing with rapid changes when this overcomes them.

Many a times I have not felt like myself but I didn't have the luxury of taking a break and exploring my inner self. Most of us don't have that liberty. There is a constant pressure of doing and being better and these expectations are not accompanied with empathy. So during this process you may just lose yourself no matter how much you try to stop this with conscious efforts. This time around I'm not going to ask you to stop, breathe, step back and move at your own pace because if you want to make it big in life, you need to keep working hard. I do not mean to say that all of us should become workaholics and bite off more than we can chew but this self pitying attitude will push you towards a downward spiral.

If your past is questionable, stop looking back and start making your future secure. People will always talk, I'm sure that a lot of people who I used to know don't think highly of me or perhaps do not like the content of my posts but this is the path I have chosen so I might as well tread on this journey according to my rules. Make your rules, set your own boundaries and be confident about them.  

We get attached to people so easily and love using the tag of best friends and being social butterflies. However it is very important to remember that the people who mean the world to you can cause your biggest downfall. Be a balanced soul because even though you're life may seem boring, you'll be able to sift the good from the bad very easily and make decisions that will get you somewhere as a human being.