Anecdote #36

When I look back at this year and the year before this a lot of things strike me. I think of the different situations I was in or rather the different situations I had put myself through. I think of the people who were such an integral part of my life but  I hardly talk to them anymore. For most of my life things were pretty standard. I went through ups and downs but honestly they were events which were predictable and things that I expected would occur sooner or later. The last two years have been completely unpredictable and the unexpected happened. I drifted away from the people I was the closest to. My life took a very different path, which is in no way bad but just very different. I have learnt to adjust to situations, people and grow up a little. I do look back very often which I wish I didn’t but I surprisingly don’t miss the company I used to keep. This part of my life is more about figuring out what I want out of life and fixing my priorities. This part is about getting rid of the stagnation. Hopefully I don’t depend on people for decisions or start looking for comfort and consolation from outside because a lot of times the answers have come from within.
I apologise for the disjointed stream of thoughts, but I guess that’s what the year end does to you. You begin reflecting on the decisions you made. the people you let in your life and the people you let go of. Sometimes the most unexpected people take up a place in your heart. You may know them for years but it maybe much later that they actually become a source of strength and inspiration. At times their words are the ones you just need to hear. Such people are a rarity to find. I am very grateful for this presence in my life. I am grateful for being able to learn what life is about. I am grateful for the healing and love I have received. In today’s time being respectful is a quality that is greatly disrespected. I am happy for the respect I have received and learnt to exhibit. Someone very wise once told me that in gratitude resides God and that’s when I learnt to count my blessings and look at the larger picture.
It is funny how things turn out over time! I never foresaw this version of myself but I am actually glad that I was challenged and my core self was tested. There is much more to learn and much more to do but for now I pray for balance, focus and of course love.